Bingo Fun & Jokes

bingo fun Blondes Are More Fun
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty uneventful, not one person had Bingo'd all night. The last game was up for grabs, with a fat bingo prize of £3500.00 in the pot. The game drags on and on, nearly every blonde in the house was on for the big blackout. Finally, G-47 was called - still no shouts of Bingo! were heard. The frustrated caller finally gets up and throws the Bingo Machine off the stage. Everyone was shocked. "I've just called every darn one of these 75 balls out of this machine and nobody's Bingo'd?" screamed the caller, "Just what number are you ladies waiting for?" In unison, 412 blonde ladies shout out "FREE SPACE!"

Luck Of The Irish
OREILLY and PADDY were playing *Bingo*. OReilly kept looking over Paddy's shoulder saying You've got that number cross it off. You've got that number mark it off. After putting up with this for some time Paddy got annoyed and said "Why don't you do your own sheet OReilly?" I've filled it Paddy he replied.

Do you take cash or credit???
Last night, my friends and I went to our local Bingo Club as they put on some male dancers for us. One of the women wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the £10 note and stuck it to his butt cheek! Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a £20 note. She called the dancer back, licks the £20 note and sticks it to his other butt-cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a £50 note, calls the guy over and licks the £50 note. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the £ 50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet...... What could I do???? The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass and grabbed the eighty pounds!

The Importance of BINGO
Bingo isn't a matter of life and death, it's much more important than that.

Me...addicted?
I only play bingo on days that end in Y.

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me £5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me £100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"

The Ten Commandments Of Bingo

Thou shalt not sit in thy neighbours lucky seat.
Thou shalt not stare at thy neighbours card.
Thou shalt not take the Callers name in vain.
Thou shalt not call false "Bingo".
Thou shalt not wish bad luck on thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not threaten to kill the "Caller".
Thou shalt not steal thy husband's money for Bingo.
Thou shalt not brag about how much thou hast won.
Thou shalt not whine about how much thou hast lost.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours winnings.

Annoying Neighbour

"BIG PURP and SURFIE were playing Bingo. Big Purp kept looking over Surfies shoulder saying, you’ve got that number, mark it off, you’ve got that number, mark it off. After putting up with this for some time Surfie got annoyed and said, why don’t you do your own sheet!? Pat replied - I can’t its full !"

You Know the Feeling

The only time you hear an old lady swearing is when another player calls *BINGO*

Being a good loser at bingo is considered admirable, so long as it is *Some-one Else*

What makes a roomful of people all shout @#*& !% Have someone call *Bingo*

I Don't Lose

A husband and wife were playing bingo and competing to see who could get all of the numbers and hence call bingo the most. They were completely level right up until the last number both needed number 11 to win. 11 came up, so they even scored, tied the game and shared the win. Not so protested the husband, I said it quicker!

Mind Your Own Business

This guy had a very attractive wife who was always demanding expensive clothes and jewelry but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond necklace.
The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "I won it at bingo"

The next night she came home with a mink coat.
The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz.
The guy asked: "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied: "Look!! Don't keep asking where I get my things!! Go upstairs and run my bath for me!!"

His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the tub.
The wife asked: "How come you put so little water in the tub?"

The guy replied: "I didn't want to wet your bingo card".

Put That Thing Away!

Betty, Ethel, Sylvia and Percy are sitting at a table at the local Bingo Hall when for the first time in 7 years Percy gets a full house. In the excitement of jumping up and down shouting Bingo, his trousers accidentally fall down, exposing him fully to the startled ladies! Betty and Ethel had a stroke, Sylvia couldnt reach!

Evie and Ann go to their local bingo club. It is Ann's first time at playing bingo. Ann turns to Evie and says "I need a 59 and a 99".
Evie replies "99? The numbers only go up to 90!"
"I know, but the ice cream man comes at 7.30 and I want my flake!" says Ann.

Q. How many bingo callers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, on his own, just the one!

This bloke was feeling off for a long time and finally decides to go to the doctors. The doctor did tests and said, "I'm afraid it's bad news mate, you've got yellow 24, a rare disease, and you will be dead within 24 hours."

The man goes home and tells his wife and starts pacing up and down... up and down.. Finally the wife has had enough and says, "right you get your coat I'm taking you to bingo to get your mind off this."

At the bingo the man wins every game going. Even the national. The caller gets him up on stage to present his national cheque and says, "What do you think ladies and gentlemen, is this the luckiest guy in the UK or what?"

The guy says, "Lucky!?! Listen mate I've got yellow 24."

To which the caller replies, "Would you believe it folks? He's only gone and won the raffle as well!"

It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night. The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of £3500.00 in the pot. The game drags on and on, and nearly every blonde in the house had to be on for the big blackout. Finally, G-47 was called, but still no shouts of "Bingo!" were heard. The frustrated caller finally gets up and throws the Bingo Machine off the stage. All the girls were shocked and the caller says: "I've just called every darn one of these 75 balls out of this machine and nobody has a Bingo? Just what number are you ladies waiting for?" All together, 412 blonde ladies shouted: "FREE SPACE!"